Archive | September 11, 2019

Why, Why

As I mentioned in the previous post, I’ll explain why I decided to restart this site from scratch.

But first, a little of statistics:

-I started this site in March 15, 2013.

-Uploaded 504 posts, 1,179 pictures, and 36 videos.

-I opened a Facebook, Tweeter, Skype and YouTube accounts.

-I also opened profiles in TSMeet (a Transsexuals dating site), OutPersonals (a Gay dating site) and TrueNudists (a Nudists social site).

-I even reached 999,479 visitors in this site (AwryAngel) in that time…almost 1 million!

-In July 07, 2017 (4 years later) I abandoned this site, accounts and profiles.

Why?

You see…

-By the age of 45 I started exploring what were those inner feelings I had since childhood.-When I reached 50 years old I realized I had a woman inside.

-A straight man who like women, and a straight woman who like men.

-By American Indian culture I was a Two Spirit person.

-At least that was my conclusion at that time.

So in 2013 I started this site to keep track of the mind and physical processes of transforming from man to woman, which was my goal at that time. But by then I’ve already lived as a man for 50 years, had married a woman and together we formed a family, so it wasn’t so simple as to “come out” and divorce, leaving behind a family to pursue a dream of being a woman. Besides, the possibilities for Sex Change Surgery are very slim at the age of 50, and even the use of female hormones is not recommended because of the health risks involved.

So it was a four years mind battle to preserve a dream (Transitioning to become a woman) while trying to accept the truth (I cannot Transition because of my age). In that time I questioned everything, explored possibilities, tried to create a more female-like look and dated some men, all while keeping everything a secret. I even acquired Fibromyalgia Syndrome because of all the stress during that time!

So in 2017, and after a break up with a man with whom I had a hidden relationship I simply was too depressive to continue. What was the point? I would never be a woman and everything has been bad up to that point. Better continue living as a man and forget about everything! So I abandoned this site and everything else.

But after a couple of months, and since I am also a Nudist, I went back to the nudists site. It was there where I found encouragement from friends to continue fighting to become the woman I am inside, even if it could be only in a “Part Time” basis.

For that reason I’ve decided to restart this site, although this time in a more simplified way. Now not so much about becoming a Post-Operation Transgender Woman, but rather more in the intention of cultivating the inner feelings as a personal treasure.

So throughout this site I’ll be talking mostly about the Psychological and Societal implications of being a Transgender, together with uploading pictures to show how a Transgender woman looks like. And if you find somehow weird my way of talking please don’t be surprised, together with being English my second language I also have Asperger’s Syndrome, so I am “naturally” weird, LOL

Hope you like the way this site is going to be and take the time to visit often.

Hugs

Angela