A man right now. I need a man right now. To curl in his chest and sleep safe. I don’t want a man to fuck me; I want a man to protect me. I am a little girl; I need my Daddy!
I guess I always were a little girl wanting her daddy, yet they always saw me as a boy and a man. I never had my daddy. Maybe that’s why I like older men. Maybe I’m looking for my daddy.
“I’ll be a good little girl daddy!!” “I’ll suck your cock to make you happy, but I need you to protect me from the world…I’m scared daddy!!” “I want to cry daddy! Would you hug me and protect me?” “I feel so vulnerable”
In the outside they see a grown man with a family. They expect that man to be the man. But I am a little girl that always wanted and needed my daddy; but he never was there for me. I am a little girl still looking for her daddy; to hug her and protect her.
“I’m scared daddy!” “The men with uniform do bad things to people” “I’m scared daddy! Why you never were there for me? Why did you let me grow without your protecting arms around me?”
I want a man to fuck me; to destroy me with his cock! That’s what you did to me daddy. You fucked me to death with your absence! And I keep waiting for you; to see you and to run to your arms, so you lean down and hug me, and lift me into your arms, against your chest, so I can lean my head in your shoulder, while you take me around in your arms, walking and talking to me to calm me from my fears, to let me know I am not alone, to let me know you will always be there for me. So I can dry my tears and turn my crying into a smile, feeling safe because you have me in your arms.
It never was.
That girl never existed in the real, physical world, so nobody ever saw her, so she grew up alone in the ethereal world, always waiting for her daddy to protect her, and he never came.
Fuck me daddy; use me; at least that way I can get something from you. At least something! Because you never came.
Red Bull and cigarettes. Many Red Bull and cigarettes. That’s how I live now. Slowly poisoning me. Waiting for you; even though I know you will never come. I still wait for you…why? I don’t understand myself. Why?!
Maybe if I die I will find you in the other side. I will leave them the dead body of a man for them to cry over their inflexible way of seeing reality and physical life; While a little girl will be free to fly in search of her daddy.