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Might seem a little strange to use this
picture in the Header of this site, especially considering
that the first page anyone visiting this site is the Landing Page
with the Warning of what kind of site this is, and requesting
to be 18+ to Enter.
But to me it looks like the most
appropriate way to show that this blog is of a Transgender
Woman. A picture of my butt doesn’t tell if I am male
or female, but it does tell the visitor the nature of this site.
This way a new visitor will be able to quickly decide if he/she wants
to go ahead and click Enter, or simply leave at once with an
side of the internet“,
Also, it does show my intention of
feeling attractive and desirable for men (men usually don’t use
their butt to attract women, LOL).
So yes…that’s my butt.
And that’s the reason I decided to use
that specific picture for the Header, even if it can be seen
in the Landing Page (and every other page).
Long time ago I opened a Facebook,
Tweeter, Skype and YouTube accounts, but I never
really used them. I opened them because…well…people say you have
to have those, so I had them. Today I deleted them all. Well, I
assume they are deleted.
I also had accounts in
What happens is, once you are inside the machine it is really difficult to get out. It works like a mafia, you can’t just walk away from them! They take your information and do whatever is good with business for them and don’t even tell you. To open an account is really easy…to delete it…that’s another story!
As an example, I opened an account with
MyTranssexualDate and they duplicated my account in
MyLadyBoyDate without telling me. I learned about that second
account when receiving an email from another member in
MyTranssexualDate telling me he saw my profile in
MyLadyBoyDate. I went there and yes, there I was!
The same thing happened with my account
in TSMeet, they duplicated my profile in AdultFriendFinder.
Now that was nasty from them because they mixed up two different
sites to have more members. You see, TSMeet is about
Transsexual women searching for men and vice-versa, while
AdultFriendFinder suppose to be mostly for straight men and
women searching for sex. Pretty soon I started seeing complains of
Transsexual women members complaining “why there are so many CIS
women here?”. I wasn’t happy either because is nasty
competition. It is already very difficult for a Trans woman to find
men, to then have to compete with female born women!
So I basically abandoned those sites. I
let the paid subscriptions expire and didn’t renew them. I am now a
non-paying member who logged in for the last time several months ago.
And I am seriously thinking to delete those accounts too. It was nice
at the beginning, I did meet some men, but now those sites have
become slow, crowded with the wrong people, and the sites admin have
reduced more and more what can be done unless you become a paying
At Secure.MeetUp.com things were
different though. I joined a nudist group that meet in their houses.
But since I wasn’t confident on my look, especially naked, I never
went to any reunion. So after several months they deleted my account
with them for being inactive. That’s fine though because they clearly
stated at the beginning that they would delete any account of
inactive members. So no hard feelings from my part.
Now, I’m still visiting my account in
TrueNudists, but seriously I don’t know for how long more.
That site is turning into a porn site! At least they have a Lifetime
membership that cost what in other sites charge for 1 year, and I
already paid that, so that’s a good thing…no more payments
ever…for now! But I am still not very happy with that site. I’ll
tell you in another post why I see it as if they are turning into a
porn site rather than a social nudist site, as it suppose to be the
For now, at least I deleted my Facebook, Tweeter, Skype and YouTube accounts…if they are really deleted as I asked! Maybe in the future I will open new ones if I ever need them. But first I’ll see if I can do my own system here in AwryAngel, so not to have to depend in those other sites that charge too much, give not that much, and even use our personal information and pictures for their own gain.
I know, these are the modern days and
technology and connection are key, but if I can minimize the digital
dependence we are experiencing as a society, I believe that should be
I can fix a car…I can restore a car!
But when it comes to work in computers and the internet I am almost
useless! Meaning by that, I am not a techie person about all the new
For the past two months I’ve been
working on restarting this site. Since I abandoned it for two years
(from July 2017) the very little I learned at that time about
how to configure my site has become completely obsolete. So when
getting into this again I discovered I had like 25 updates pending!
One of those was to update the WordPress platform, but to do that
first I had to update the PHP thing from the Host. So after spending
lots of time reading tutorials in the internet and becoming dizzy
every time, finally I have something.
So far I’ve updated the PHP thing, so I
could update the WordPress platform, the Theme, a bunch of pluggins,
and I don’t know what else. Not that I knew what I was doing, but
rather one of the million clicks I did with the mouse finally worked
in the direction I wanted to go, LOL.
Also I needed to add a SSL Certificate
to change this site from HTTP to HTTPS. Well, that is also done, so
this is a safer site to visit. Now it is about finding out why many
things don’t work and why others do what they want to do and not what
I want them to do, so there’s still a lot of work to go through.
The reason for so many complications
(other than I have no clue what I’m doing) is that I want to
make this site more interactive than it used to be. For instance the
Comments section after every post, a good Contact Form, and even a
Chat box for live chat with visitors when I’m online. It should work
great…once it starts to work! LOL. As you can see I already
installed a Tab on top for Chat…but now I need to figure out how to
make it work.
So every day you will see that
something is changed, something works now, and other things stopped
working compared with yesterday!! Then you’ll know there is a mouse
tinkering with the wiring of the website (me). So please be
patient, and if you have any suggestions I’m all ears!
As I mentioned in the previous post,
I’ll explain why I decided to restart this site from scratch.
But first, a little of statistics:
-I started this site in March 15, 2013.
-Uploaded 504 posts, 1,179 pictures,
and 36 videos.
-I opened a Facebook, Tweeter, Skype and YouTube accounts.
-I also opened profiles in TSMeet (a Transsexuals dating site), OutPersonals (a Gay dating site) and TrueNudists (a Nudists social site).
-I even reached 999,479 visitors in
this site (AwryAngel) in that time…almost 1 million!
-In July 07, 2017 (4 years later)
I abandoned this site, accounts and profiles.
-By the age of 45 I started exploring what were those inner feelings I had since childhood.-When I reached 50 years old I realized I had a woman inside.
-A straight man who like women, and a
straight woman who like men.
-By American Indian culture I
was a Two Spirit person.
-At least that was my conclusion at
So in 2013 I started this site to keep
track of the mind and physical processes of transforming from man to
woman, which was my goal at that time. But by then I’ve already
lived as a man for 50 years, had married a woman and together we
formed a family, so it wasn’t so simple as to “come out”
and divorce, leaving behind a family to pursue a dream of being a
woman. Besides, the possibilities for Sex Change Surgery are very
slim at the age of 50, and even the use of female hormones is not
recommended because of the health risks involved.
So it was a four years mind battle to
preserve a dream (Transitioning to become a woman) while
trying to accept the truth (I cannot Transition because of my
age). In that time I questioned everything, explored
possibilities, tried to create a more female-like look and dated some
men, all while keeping everything a secret. I even acquired
Fibromyalgia Syndrome because of all the stress during that
So in 2017, and after a break up with a
man with whom I had a hidden relationship I simply was too depressive
to continue. What was the point? I would never be a woman and
everything has been bad up to that point. Better continue living as a
man and forget about everything! So I abandoned this site and
But after a couple of months, and since
I am also a Nudist, I went back to the nudists site. It was there
where I found encouragement from friends to continue fighting to
become the woman I am inside, even if it could be only in a “Part
For that reason I’ve
decided to restart this site, although this time in a more simplified
way. Now not so much about becoming a Post-Operation Transgender
Woman, but rather more in the intention of cultivating the inner
feelings as a personal treasure.
So throughout this site
I’ll be talking mostly about the Psychological and Societal
implications of being a Transgender, together with uploading pictures
to show how a Transgender woman looks like. And if you find somehow
weird my way of talking please don’t be surprised, together with
being English my second language I also have Asperger’s Syndrome,
so I am “naturally” weird, LOL
Hope you like the way this
site is going to be and take the time to visit often.
For people visiting this site again it may seem strange what happened here. This is not the site they where used to see. Where are the hundred of posts? the thousand of pictures? And even the several videos? The short answer is simple: I decided to restart the site.
But the long answer is a lot more
complicated than that, so I will explain in detail in the next posts,
together with why I abandoned this site in 2017 (after 4 years),
what motivated me to come back, and why I decided to start from
Now, starting from scratch means I have
many changes planned for this site, and considering I am not a techie
person, it will take me a while to get everything up and running
smoothly. I want to make this site simpler but more interactive.
So if you visit me here often you will
see changes, improvements and new posts and pictures every day. Hope
you like the new site!