How strong is life? How much can life pull someone to be there? To live? Even more; wanting to live?
I tried to be away! My intention was to retrieve inside my brother’s brain and stay there; let him have his body back and live his married man’s life. But I am still having the body more and more often; and it’s been only five months!
At first it was just some female feelings my brother had while working in some home improvements. My brother has been working fixing his house lately, and I took the body (and the house works) for moments, having the feelings of being a woman in physical life, even though I was wearing my brother’s clothing.
I know I decided to retrieve inside the brain and stay there, but those feelings came out without even thinking. Then, suddenly, it was me working in the home improvements while dressing as my brother. It was the man who started working, to then become the woman working, while in the outside nobody would have ever known of the switch. Anybody looking would have thought it was always a man working, not realizing at some point that man that could be seen was really a woman inside.
Not planned intention. It just happened. I took over the body and it was me and not my brother living physical life. Why?
It seems the whole thing of living in physical life is beyond my control. While I planned (and did) stay inside the brain and never come back out again, still it just happened. Working in my brother’s place at first; then thinking and living in his body more often and in several times of every day. Being me and not my brother who was in physical life in his body.
Then the desires of taking the body completely and transform it to become a woman full time, coming out and doing the legal change in name and sex, so to live the rest of the body’s life as a woman and no more as a man. To live my life and stop my brother’s life for the rest of the physical living time.
How crazy! My brother is becoming in better and better standing with his wife. He is slowly but surely getting his health back; and with the home improvement projects under way, creating a better place for them to live as an older and happy couple in their coming golden years. Why do I have to get in between and desire to steal my brother’s body, interrupt forever his plans, and all to be me the one living from now on? It’s just not logic! Crazy!!
But no matter logic and reason, I still keep taking my brother’s body and planning the transition from male to female, to at some point in the coming years start living as a woman full time. I even shaved the back, butt, chest, shoulders and under arms in the body, so it’ll better resemble a woman when naked, without compromising the male look when dressed up as a man. At least I did consider that and didn’t shave arms and legs; although I do think of shaving also the legs anyway since my brother never wear shorts. All so to look more as a woman when naked alone, yet still look as a man when dressed and living with his family. For those of you who don’t know or don’t remember, my brother and his wife sleep in different bedrooms for the past 15 years, and never see each other naked anymore; she doesn’t want any intimate physical contact with my brother anymore, so she hasn’t seen him naked again for the past 15 years, which plays to my advantage!
I wish I could have the body completely and for the rest of the living time, so to live physical life openly as a woman; but cannot just plan for it using another person’s body; especially when my brother is coming to terms of nice friendship and roommates with his wife. He has now the chance to create a very nice future as a man, so I cannot just take the body and run. By logic it shouldn’t be possible, yet without even trying, I keep thinking on how I can live physical life without destroying my brother’s life. And I’ve thought of something!
So in the meantime I’ll be back in this blog, telling you how things are going, what I’m planning, and what I’m doing to “force” my time living in physical life. You’ll be surprised!
See you then