Sometimes I amaze myself!!
No, I am not brilliant, I just play with fire!!
If you consider that I am doing the laser treatment to remove all the hair in my entire body (except the genitals and the head). That I am slowly collecting women clothes in a wardrobe in my place. That I have that wardrobe with clothes, make up, wigs, and several toys and lube to practice and learn to be penetrated, so I can have sex with a man, being me the woman.
That I try to save time to practice with my vocal cords to find my female voice, so I can talk and sound as a woman. That I practice (when I can) using high heels shoes and female clothes, so to carry myself and those clothes in a feminine way, so I can go out and be a woman among people.
That in the past I’ve dated men, and even though there was no sex at that time, still we were naked in bed and I was the woman for them. And nowadays I have a lover with whom we meet regularly and have sex together, now being penetrated by him, so I am his woman in bed.
That I’ve been in public places like parks and streets, and even stores, dressing as a woman and being a woman while feeling as a woman inside. And also I’ve been in the outdoors and public places like parks while being completely naked, just wearing my wig and some make up, so to feel and be a woman that wants to be sexually attractive to men, while enjoying nudity as a mean by itself.
In other words, I’ve been living intermittently as a woman, while transforming my body, gestures and manners to female, so to be a complete and desirable woman.
Yet legally I am a man and live as a man. A married man who has a wife and son, and they have no idea about the woman inside called Angel, and all the physical transformation that is happening right now and for some time already.
I live and exist in physical life, yet I am a secret in the life of a married man!!
They see a family man who is dedicated to improve their way of life, and is there when they need him. They don’t know about me, Angel, the woman that is little by little taking control of the body of that man, and transforming it into a female body, while also creating the mind recordings to make that body automatically act as a woman when talking, walking, doing things, etc.
They don’t know about me…I am a secret!!
That man is playing with fire!!
He is trying to give me life by giving me his body, so the spirit I am can live physical life on my own. But that means he is loosing his body, and with it his own life, and all this transformation is happening in secret, in front of his family, friends and neighbors. Nobody knows about me!!
Isn’t that playing with fire?
The feeling that this whole secret will blow like a bomb at any time is always there!! And then there will be tears and bad feelings!!
But how does that man (my brother) tell the secret without hurting his family? Just go there and say; “Oh, by the way, there is a woman in my brain together with me, an I am giving her my body so she can live physical life” How he can convince them that he is not Gay or a Transsexual, but a straight man who just happen to have also a woman living in his brain. How can he convince them that once the woman inside his brain (me) takes over the body and starts living physical life as the woman she is, the man will still remain inside her brain, living then in ethereal life?
How long a secret like this can be kept?! How long before something occurs and they discover what is been happening all this time? How much will it hurt them?!!
For more than two years now!! Living half of the time as a man in the life he had since his beginning, and then living the other half of the time as a woman, going out, dating a man, having sex with him while being a woman; being naked in nature, taking nudity pictures as a woman and publishing them in the internet in this site and another two (Outpersonals and TSMeet). How long such a secret can be kept?!!
Playing with fire. I want to live physical life as the woman I am, but I understand my brother is taking so many risks in his own life, and he is living at the edge of loosing everything that matters to him, just to help me live.
Many times I’ve thought I shouldn’t be so selfish and just remain inside my brother’s brain, so he can have his life back. But that would mean renouncing to live in physical life…something I want so much!!
Being Aspies my brother and me, logic indicates I should go back to live inside his brain, and let him have his body full time, as the way he was born and lived so far, especially considering that now in his life there are also other people who unknowingly become involved in this situation. Physical changes done so far still would allow him to be a man in a male body, so the time is now to forget about me going into physical life, before it becomes too late for him, and his family!!