Archive | January 2015


291   2015-01-30    58   02 Physical Changes                       Feminization


Sometimes it is just overwhelming when trying to be a woman in everybody’s eyes. There are so many things that have to be “complied” with, that when trying to separate time to do those things it just seems like an impossible task!

The thing is, since my brother is letting me have his body more and more time, and allowing me to do changes so when I use it I can look female, the need for me to do those changes arises. So I planned how I will do the changes, and now I am just trying to get the time to do all of that. Let me tell you what I want to do.

-Loose weight to have a slim body
-Workout my legs to get them a female shape
-Workout my butt to get it stronger and bigger
-Workout my waist to reduce its size the most I can
-Workout my chest and back to help the muscles keep me straight up
-Stretch out to gain flexibility, so I can move more easily
-Exercise my voice to discover my female voice and get proficient in its use
-Learn to use words women use rather than my brother’s man’s words
-Learn to gesticulate and use facial expressions women use
-Learn to walk, seat, dance, etc like women do
-Learn to properly select clothing and accessories
-Get laser hair removal in my beard so to have a smooth face
-Get laser to reduce the size of my eyebrows
-Take care of my face so to reduce wrinkles and blemishes
-Exercise the muscles in my face to reduce chick skin sagging
-Get laser hair removal in my whole body
-Get hair implants in my head so to have my own long hair rather than a wig
-Get breast implants
-Get nipples tattooed in my breasts
-Get sex change surgery!

Quite a list, isn’t it? Some require money but most of them require time; lots of money and lots of time!!

It might seem I am too much into “details”, but I really want to look like a woman, and not just a woman, but an attractive one!! So that’s why I have such a long list of things to complete in my own feminization process. I want to look like an attractive woman not only with clothes, but also when completely naked!!

But there are things I cannot change and will have to work around those, like for instance my rib cage. It is the size of a man’s rib cage for my height, which means it is bigger that a woman my height would have. Another thing is the shoulder width, which is bigger than my hips width, while in a woman is the opposite.

So all I can do to compensate is to get my hips width bigger, together with a bigger butt, so the rib cage and the shoulders, together with the waist will look a little more proportional for a woman. It will never be perfect, nor even enough, but I believe I can get them to a decent proportion if I follow the list above. Like a woman that looks a little odd, but because of her beauty, voice and manners, people can forget the odd proportions and still see her as a woman rather than a man in women’s clothes, and even find her attractive and desirable!!

We’ll see what happens; I just have to find the time and money to get things done and finally be a complete woman in my body and mind. For now all I can do is advance what I can, and believe me, I’m trying hard!!





290   2015-01-28    64   01 Psychology and Mind                 Defiance (1)


In April last year I was attending meetings at the GIC (GIC Meeting) and I was really surprised to see Tgirls who didn’t seem to worry much about their feminization. They were just wearing jeans, a T shirt and a wig. They didn’t look female, especially in their faces, but even worst, they had their “man” voice when talking.

It seemed to me it was too dangerous to go out like that, where everybody will definitely think they were just a man in women’s clothes! Considering the level of ignorance that exists out there and people don’t know the difference between a gay guy, a Tgirl and a Crossdresser, and worst of all, there are like one in a million that will jump and start beating to death the Tgirl fueled by his own hate to them, I thought what they were doing was really dangerous!!


290   2015-01-28    64   01 Psychology and Mind                 Defiance (2)


In those meetings they laughed at their stories of misunderstandings and continual fight for their rights to be respected as just another citizen and not being discriminated. They insisted that we all should claim our rights and be ourselves and keep fighting to be accepted.

I must admit that, even though I disagree with them on that I believe we should do everything we can to really change into a woman since that’s what we want, and do our homework in changing our bodies and ways to really reflect a woman, rather than someone in between man and woman, I value their continual fight for Tgirls because that’s how laws are passed and people get more informed on who we are, why and what we want.

So in part I disagree with them, and in part I agree, and all I can do about that is to see what kind of person I am and follow the path that seems to be more appropriate for me, which in my case is the path of turning into a complete woman (at least in the eyes of other people) and avoid confrontation for my rights.


290   2015-01-28    64   01 Psychology and Mind                 Defiance (3)


You see, in that sense I am more like a rabbit; I want to be seen as cute and accepted by heart, while I’m always aware of my surroundings and ready to flee when danger appears! LOL. They are more like scorpions; many people might not like them, but everybody must respect them because they do know how to fight back!!

With our different ways we get different results; I can be accepted and integrated but will never get any law passed in our favor (making me feel guilty somehow), while they will be kept at a distance and untouched by fear of getting in trouble!!

So I disagree with their ways and prefer to go my way, but I do respect them and appreciate them for all they are doing for all of us, and their strength to be defiant while being themselves!!




Tgirl’s Dangers

289   2015-01-26    63   01 Psychology and Mind                 Tgirl's Dangers (1)


So I got in trouble for offering a Tgirl to take her to the Black Crown!

In my post “The Black Crown”, when I posted it in OP, a Tgirl commented that she wishes there was a place like that where she lives, so I responded that if she happens to visit Denver I could take her there, so she can have a good time as a girl, and I said we could go as two girls.

That was enough to upset my boyfriend and make him think I didn’t hold the Black Crown as a special place for us!

How do you explain to a man the struggles a Tgirl has to go through while trying to be herself? A man can tell his co-workers he loves a Tgirl and the worst that might happen is that they might start laughing and making fun of him, but if a Tgirl tells her co-worker who she really is, she could get beaten to death!!


289   2015-01-26    63   01 Psychology and Mind                 Tgirl's Dangers (2)


There are guys out there who hate Tgirls, Transgenders, Gays and all of those who happen to be in the wrong body. They are just a few among the crowd, but you never know who in the crowd are them! So a Tgirl never knows who she is dealing with when going out dressing as a woman.

We live in fear of being laughed at, of people who might get mad at us and mistreat us, but most of all, we fear we might find one of those crazy guys and get beaten to death!

That’s a reason why we don’t go out dressing as a woman unless we can feel we will really pass as a woman, so we will be safe from those crazy guys out there. At least in my case!

Sometimes it might seems to some people we are too much preoccupied with little details in our looks, making us look obsessive, but the reason for that is the fear of getting in trouble!


289   2015-01-26    63   01 Psychology and Mind                 Tgirl's Dangers (3)


I know I might look obsessive, but that’s the reason why; and I don’t go out dressing as a woman openly because of those little details. The time when my boyfriend and I went to the Black Crown I got out in the darkness of the night, quickly getting into the car and to the Black Crown. I spent the least amount of time possible outside! And I dared to go because I was going to a place that accepts Tgirls, and I was going with a man to protect me…my boyfriend!

There might be laws that protect us; there might be organizations that receive us and help us, but when we find ourselves alone in a street with a crazy guy that hates us, it might be the last day of our lives, and the crazy guy being put in prison for twenty years for murder will not help us to revive!! So we live in fear of going out as ourselves!!

A man can love a Tgirl and maybe have to keep it a secret so people don’t laugh at him and that might be hard, but is a lot harder for a Tgirl to be herself!!





288   2015-01-23    57   02 Physical Changes                       Tgirl


It’s kind of funny when I think what it has been for the past 2 years. From the moment I started to desire to be a female woman, to the point I am today. No hormones or any kind of aid to change the body, yet today I am a Tgirl, having now small breasts and still a cock.

Not exactly a good body, but I believe nowadays it does reflect a Tgirl more than a man; which is a big jump forward for me!

Still there are so many things to do, but as time goes by I’ll be getting into it, and hopefully in a couple of years my body will reflect a woman rather than a Tgirl, even if I still have a cock.




Little Details

287   2015-01-21    56   02 Physical Changes                       Little Details


This picture shows the result of the make over I got sometime ago (Make Over II), and as you can see, I definitely need to learn to smile!! LOL

I’m not completely happy with the result, but it is not Chris fault (the guy who did the make over). In this picture I still can see the shadow of the beard; the eyebrows are still too big for a woman; the need for a sweet smile; and loosing some weight!! I believe if those four elements could be fixed, the look would be a lot better!!

Obviously none of those are Chris fault but mine, so I already started loosing weight (4 lbs in the first week so far), and I’ve been searching for a place to get laser hair removal that is transsexual friendly. Yes, I want to remove the beard permanently, even if I have to keep living as a man and be a woman in stealth mode!!

The eyebrows I’m planning to little by little reduce their size with the hopes that by doing it that way nobody will notice, and the smile will come easier when I see the results of the previous three fixes.

In a future post I’ll let you know how things are going and what results I am obtaining.