Archive | November 2014

Why Blogging

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Although I know I started this blog to sort of keep a log of my physical transformation from man to woman, and to have a place to explain what those changes do to my mind, changing my way of thinking, of perceiving the world around with changing eyes and body, sometimes I still wonder why do I feel the need to keep posting.

For a long time I thought it was a way to get reinforcement in that I am a woman and not a man, but since this blog is just a one way talk, that reinforcement doesn’t occur here, so there must be another reason.

And I think I found the reason; it is a way to vent my thoughts and feelings in a world that doesn’t allow me to do that!

Let me explain.

I have to live as a man because that’s the way things are, and I cannot tell those around me that this male body is really a woman in the wrong body, so all my woman’s life have to be kept a secret and done in hiding.


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But I have this blog in the internet, so I can scream to the whole world that I am a woman, that I want to feel attractive as a woman, and that I prefer sex with a man!

So together with posting my thoughts, my dreams and my projects, I also post my pictures naked, showing myself to the world as the woman I feel I am, trying to be sexy and attractive as a woman, so to have a way to tell the world what I cannot tell my loved ones!!

I know my blog is not watched by the whole world, but it is in the internet, so technically is available for anyone who might want to see it, so the whole world could watch it, which makes so ridiculous that the whole world may know a secret that just two people don’t!!

And I say two people because they are the ones who really count for me. All the others, like the rest of the family, co-workers, neighbors and friends, I don’t really care what they might think of me if I come out of the closet to tell who I am.


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Some time ago I was worried about more people’s opinion and reactions to me if I told them the truth, but now is just two, so I guess is a matter of time to reach the point where I will feel strong enough to tell them.

In the meantime I have to keep it a secret, so I have this blog to tell the world who I am, giving me a way to vent. At the same time that I hope this blog might be of some help to those in a situation similar to mine, so they can compare their feelings and doubts with mine to help them learn more about themselves, together with knowing they are not alone in the world!




Waking Up

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Waking up in my place. Big, dark room filled with dreams and projects. The place where silence is the witness of a slow physical transformation. The place where I dream and pursue!

I do some early stretching to get the body active, to then be ready to begin the day activities planned.


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A girl living her dream while her body is still not female, yet her place, that big, dark room, is her accomplice and supporter of her feelings and projects, silently crying “you will get there!!”





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I really don’t understand (yet) what is happening, but it seems like just many years ago my brother had the body all the time and there were bits of my personality showing up from time to time, now it seems like I will have the body all the time, while preserving bits of my brother’s personality in mine. He was the owner of the body full time and I was in the back, existing only in the brain electrical impulses, while now I’m little by little taking over the body while he is going to the basis of human existence as brain electrical impulses too.

We seem to be in the process of switching; me from the back to the front and my brother from the front to the back; which means I will have full possession of the body at some point; which will give me freedom to adapt it in any way I feel convenient for me as a woman!

A boy was born and lived as a man, to then switch entities in the brain, so it’ll become a woman who will live and die as a woman!


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Having the opportunity to have the body and live as a woman full time is so exciting to me!! But sometimes it seems that more and more as time goes by at some point I will have to get “out of the closet” and tell everyone who I am, and that I want to live my own life! But how do you make people understand there is the possibility of two entities (or souls) living in one body (brain)?! For them it’ll be just like a man decided to be a woman, but even though she could be living as a woman, and being a woman, they still will see her as the man he used to be.

I don’t know if the family my brother created would understand that I am another person, not the man they knew. And then how will they understand that he is still alive and well inside my brain, and even contributing to my personality with bits of his own!

The things is, the “switching” seems to be happening and, at this rate, in just a couple of years (or maybe even earlier) I should be having the body full time, being a woman in a man’s body, pushing me to make more and more physical changes to the body, which in turn will create the desperate need to get “out of the closet” and tell everybody which person is really in the body of the man they knew.

That’s the reason why it seems so complicated to get “out of the closet”. Nobody can tell what their reaction will be, and you know, once things like this are done, there is no chance to go back!

I guess a storm is coming!!




Long Hair

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I don’t know what it is, but since I let my hair grow without having any hair cut, every time now I look at myself in the mirror, I like what I see!!

All my life, when looking at myself in the mirror, there was something that I didn’t like, and with it, I didn’t like my look, but with my hair long, any problem with my face doesn’t seem to be of much importance like it used to be. Now I do like the general look of my face when looking at myself in the mirror, and I must conclude that it is all because I have long hair.

It is wild; it is dry; it is not proportional in every side, but just by being long it seems to be fine; like giving to my face something that was missing! I can only assume it is because now it makes me look more female than male.


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With this I’ve been thinking that maybe in my mind I did want to be a woman all my life, but I just didn’t know it, so when looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a man I felt discomfort with the image, while now I can see a woman rather than a man, and that seems to be what my inner mind was trying to see all these years!

In other words, I must have been a woman all the time and I just didn’t know it, and my long hair has showed me that fact.

With this, I just love my long and wild hair! And even though many people disagree with me by having it this long, and would love that I cut it short like it used to be, I’m planning to let it grow even more, and just concentrate my efforts in trying to get it healthy and strong.

Maybe one day I would be able to really have the long hair a woman has, and then avoid having to use a wig to look more female, but just get the effect by using my own hair.

Wouldn’t that be great?!




Being a Man

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In the previous post I mentioned the difference between being just a female and being a woman; someone that cultivate herself in her ways so to grow as a woman throughout life, which can be considered cultivating oneself in the art of being a woman.

The same can happen with men. So many men consider themselves attractive enough just because they have a cock, like some women see themselves attractive enough for having just a pussy! They think men will be attracted to them and they will be desirable enough just by having a pussy, and some men believe just by having a cock women will automatically be attracted to them. No wonder why there is the untold competition among men of who has the biggest cock, and those who have a big one feel better about themselves and more attractive and desirable by women.

Not true!!

At least I am not attracted to ANY man just because he has a cock. I don’t care how big and thick can it be, and how much stamina he may have to use it, it is the man what attracts me, and the cock is just an “addition” to the whole.


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I am more attracted to a man who is caring, sweet and tender. Someone with whom is possible to have a conversation about many things. Someone with whom we can be serious when talking and doing things, but also can be laughing and enjoying things together, like the view of a beautiful place, or enjoying together a good movie.

With this, I can be attracted to a man independently of his age and looks, so an older man can be very and more attractive to me than a younger one having a big cock. It is his personality, cultivation and the sweet way he treats me what attracts me, rather than his physical capabilities!

So just like for women is hard to cultivate themselves in the art of being women, for men is equally hard to cultivate themselves in the art of being men, but that intended results are what really make a man more attractive to women, rather than the size of their cock.


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There are many men out there with big cocks and lots of energy to use them, but when they pay more attention to their size and discard the difficult process of cultivating themselves in the art of being men, they usually become just ass holes!!

When they think is their cock what women want, they are automatically disregarding “the rest” of themselves, self denigrating themselves to a level of just “cock brain” and denigrating women to a level of “cock hungry beings”, disregarding all “the rest” a woman has.

Personally, and I know many women think the same way, I can enjoy the “view” of a nice cock attached to a nice looking man, but when it comes to dating someone, I start from the other “end”, and pay more attention to his brain and feelings; and if I like what I see, I accept whatever cock he might bring, and we can be both perfectly happy with it.

So men! Forget about your size and concentrate more in your ways! That will make you a lot more attractive to women!!