Archive | May 2014

Face Look

196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (1)


By bringing to physical life the woman inside, my goal is to be completely passable when going out in public. I want to reach a point where nobody around would have any doubt that I am a woman.


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (2)


If someone pays attention to me in a street or a restaurant when having dinner, looking at me there, seating in another table, would they think I am a woman? Or would they have doubts, or even worst, would they know the truth?


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (3)


I know the look is just one part of many elements that have to be considered, like the voice, the gestures, and even the kind of words used when talking, etc. but measuring the one element of face look, I need to learn what to do to improve my face, so to really look like a woman without giving any doubts.


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (4)


I do know I’m not there yet, and there’s still a lot of work to do, but I need to learn what is wrong; what should be enhanced; what should be eliminated or reduced, what should be changed and what should be kept as it is, etc. And also, I’d like to know how old would they think I am by looking at my face.


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (5)


For that reason I separated these pictures to have a general idea of how I look so far, and to try to discover what should I do to improve, so to have a more realistic female look. Remember, I don’t just want to look like a woman, but I want to look like an attractive one!


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (6)


Now, by looking at these pictures, it seems to me smaller eyebrows would be a first step. Unfortunately that cannot be done since I still have to live as a man, and it’ll be very difficult to explain to everybody I know why I depilated my eyebrows! Still, I’ve been reducing their size little by little over time, with hopes nobody will notice.


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (7)


Besides that, I really don’t know what else I need to change, but I do know it’s not right! So I’ll keep looking at the pictures to try to find what is wrong.


196   2014-05-30    38   02 Physical Changes                         Face Look (8)





Small Cocks

195   2014-05-29    22   05 Dates and Encounters                 Small Cocks (1)


I just updated my profile in OutPersonals in a “small” detail.

What I updated was the information about my preferences when it comes to cocks to play with. You see, although I haven’t had lots of encounters with different men, in the past 8 years I did meet 10 different men.

From those men, only 2 had a small cock (for OP standards) which were around 3 inches long and 3/4 inch diameter. One of them was 5-7 tall like me, and the other was 6-2! I said by OP standards because it seems there are plenty of “wild horses” out there, LOL

One of the guys I met had a 7 inches cock with about 1-3/4 inches diameter, and being honest with you, I was “overwhelmed”, LOL

What happens is that I have a small mouth, and even though I love sucking cock and swallowing, I’m not good at having a big cock; and when playing with those guys with smaller cocks, it was just perfect for me!


195   2014-05-29    22   05 Dates and Encounters                 Small Cocks (2)


That makes me wonder what happens with the guys with small cocks…do they hide and never meet anybody out of shame with the big “monsters” some OP members like to brag about?

If I, being 5-7 tall, luckily have a 4 inches long and 7/8 diameter cock (when measuring with generosity), there must be others with similar small cocks out there. I know there must be more because I already met two of them.

The last guy I was with had a 5 inches long with 1-1/2 diameter, and it was so hard for me to keep it for long in my mouth, that it felt like being so hungry and faced with a giant burrito! And the problem is that with a burrito you can take bites, but I doubt guys would like if I take bites of their cocks, right? LOL

I would just love to meet those guys out there who have a very small cock! I’m talking 4 inches or less long, and 1 inch or less diameter. Especially if they feel bad about their size, because I would make sure they feel they have the most desirable cock in the world, and have a great time sexually with me.

Men with small cocks, please step forward! I want you!! LOL





194   2014-05-28    41   01 Psychology and Mind                   MTF (1)


It is kind of strange to see these pictures. I used to be a man only, and still live as a man, feeling like one and desiring women; but then I discovered the woman I also am, with desires for men, and some times even wanting to be a full time woman!

So I started doing physical transformations to allow my body to be a man most of the time, and a woman a few others. There are still so many changes to be done, but at least I can get the general look of a woman…I believe.

By being Bi-Gender, I have to walk as two different persons in one body; the original for the legal and the acquired obligations, plus my own man feelings, and the new for the inner desires of the woman in me.


194   2014-05-28    41   01 Psychology and Mind                   MTF (2)


Like brother and sister; or maybe even like lovers…who knows. When being a woman and looking at the pictures of me as a man naked, I like, want and desire sexually the man I am; and when being a man and looking at the pictures of me as a woman naked, I like, want and desire the woman I am; so truly I am two different persons in one body, and not just one with a duality.

In the meantime, these pictures show the man that it was, and the woman that could be, leaving me in between, wishing and dreaming while living day to day.




Auto Trans

193   2014-05-24    37   02 Physical Changes                         Auto Trans (1)


The automatic transformation keeps going! I’m not taking any kind of hormones to change my body into female, yet by itself the body keeps changing.

Until a couple of years ago I still could have a “hard on” like in the picture above by just having erotic thoughts, but nowadays my cock simply stopped working, and getting it hard is almost impossible!

At the other hand, my boobs keep growing more, and although they are small for a woman, they are big for a man! When naked as a man, it looks really weird to have breasts.


193   2014-05-24    37   02 Physical Changes                         Auto Trans (2)


Since I want to look more female, I’m happy for the sort of automatic growth of my breasts, but the stop working of my cock, although I don’t need it as a woman, it is still the part that should give me the chance of reaching climax and having sexual relief, so by stopping working, it also stopped my possibilities of obtaining sexual relief when I need it!

When I feel the need for sexual relief it has become very difficult to just masturbate and cum to get it, so practically I live now with the desire for sexual relief, but I can’t get it!


193   2014-05-24    37   02 Physical Changes                         Auto Trans (3)


It is so frustrating, to the point of wishing more and more to get rid of my cock and have a vagina instead! At least I could use a dildo then to penetrate myself and feel it inside to have some pleasure.

I don’t really miss the possibility to have a hard on anymore, but I do want to have the chance to get sexual relief when I need it, and in this automatic process of body transformation that seems to be lost.




Blind Date

192   2014-05-23    21   05 Dates and Encounters                 Blind Date (1)


Yesterday I had another date!

He contacted me through OutPersonals, and after a couple of emails we met at the Memorial at Cheesman Park.

We were to meet at 11 am and for about one hour (his lunch time), so he had to run back and forth, and I had very little time to get ready in the morning.

You see, for a female born it’ll be a lot easier since it’ll be just a shower and put on some perfume and nice clothes, but for a male born like me it starts with a long shower to shave my entire body, and then a very good face shave to be completely smooth! Then run to my personal place (a warehouse) to retrieve my female clothes, wig and make up, to then drive my little motorhome to the meeting point (Cheesman Park), find a parking spot close to where we would be meeting, and quickly get in the bathroom to put on the make up, wig, earrings, necklace, etc


192   2014-05-23    21   05 Dates and Encounters                 Blind Date (2)


After that get out of the bathroom to put on the clothes, clean the sweat out of my face (it was hot and I was very, very nervous), re-touch the make up, check my general look in the mirror, take a deep breath and get out of the vehicle and to the meeting point.

All in two hour!

The thing is, I arrived to the place fifteen minutes early, with my heart pounding because of the hurry and the nervousness; then proceeded to walk around, watching the clock every 3 seconds! LOL


192   2014-05-23    21   05 Dates and Encounters                 Blind Date (3)


Time was going slowly, but still going, and by 11:15 I was starting to think how it is said in English when a girl goes to the date and the guy doesn’t show up!

So to use the trip in a “productive” way, I started to take videos of me, leaving the camera in any flat surface I could find, and then walk in front, so to get some videos that later I could use to extract pictures to post here.

I didn’t realize at that time that my boobs were showing so clearly through my blouse! LOL (As you can see, I wasn’t wearing a bra).


192   2014-05-23    21   05 Dates and Encounters                 Blind Date (4)


At about 11:20 he showed up and told me he got caught in a traffic jam because of a car accident on the road.

So we seated in a bench and talked for about 40 minutes, before he had to leave. We didn’t touch each other and didn’t talk “specifics” on what we were looking for in a sexual relationship (Hey, is a date from a hook up site, remember?). We just talked about general things; like a date between co-workers or something like that; and we discovered that we live in the same city, about 20 blocks distance, which is great for future dates!

By the time he had to leave, he gave me a very tight hug and we kissed in the mouth (yummy!), so it was a good ending for a sort of blind date, especially considering I didn’t have any picture of him, so didn’t know how he looked like (he has no pictures in his profile, and didn’t send me any before the date); but he did know how I looked like because he had seen my pictures in my profile and blog there, although most of them are without clothes, so he knew me mostly naked! LOL


192   2014-05-23    21   05 Dates and Encounters                 Blind Date (5)


After he left, I went walking slowly to my vehicle and proceeded to remove all the make up and get my man clothes, so to drive away as a man.

We already had a couple of emails after the date, and he told me he likes me very much and wants to meet again, so I’m very happy!

In future posts I’ll tell you how those new dates went, and for how long this thing lasts!