Unbelievable! Today it becomes a year since I started this blog. Well, actually it was yesterday, since I posted for the first time in March 15, 2013, so today really is the first day of my second year.
Up to date, without counting this one, I’ve posted 145 posts; published 346 pictures (of which 21 are from other people; 17 of material stuff, and 308 of me); and uploaded 35 videos. Not bad for a year, don’t you think?
It makes me very happy because when trying to find information about the hidden feelings of crossdressers and TS people, so to compare with my own to learn what is going on in my head, I just couldn’t find blogs of active people. It seems many people started blogging to tell the world what they feel and what’s happening in their lives, and suddenly they stopped; most probably because of the lack of comments in their posts, which makes some bloggers feel very lonely and abandoned, and without a reason to keep going.
I can’t deny that at some point I felt the same way, but checking the statistics of this blog, I realized there is a steady flow of visitors that little by little has been growing up as the months go by.
Also, by taking in account the emails I receive through the Contact form, I can see there are people who visit this blog with the same intentions I had when searching for blogs of this kind…to see if they can relate their inner feelings with mine, to learn who exactly they are. Several letters I receive are from people asking questions and suggesting topics I should talk about in future posts.
There are also of course those who visit this blog just to have a good laugh at the expense of the “faggot” posting and posing naked (me), and I’ve received letters from some of them with all kind of insults and nasty words to describe me and what I feel, but I don’t get mad because I know they don’t get it, and they don’t have enough brain to receive and understand an explanation, so I just read the letters and then delete them.
Having this blog for just a year, and based in the letters that I receive, I realize now there is so much people out there living an “exterior” life while keeping inner desires a secret from the world around. I’m not just one in a million but just one that decided to talk! And I’m glad I did.
It’s been a crazy trip! From lots of thinking and analyzing, to try to understand my own mind and inner desires, to the exciting exploration it has been, to the big scares I’ve had many times when taking nudity pictures and videos in the outdoors. Not only Angel (my inner self) has been living a physical life, but she’s been alive!
I feel now very motivated in keep going, although I know I’m playing with fire (I live a “normal” life as a man, and nobody knows about Angel. As the joke goes…“Only the internet knows!” LOL), and I know it is a lonely journey since nobody can be with you inside your mind when you are exploring your inner feelings.
For those reasons I’ll keep up this blog while remaining in the exploration of my inner feelings, and the experimentation on the physical adaptations of my body to better let Angel experience physical life.
Thank you to all of you who visit this blog, and hope I can be of help with it to those who are stopping by to see if they can learn something more about themselves, while knowing they are not alone.