Aberration

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In 2008 I took this picture at the park at about 2 O’clock in the morning. It is very enticing for me to go out to the park and have a walk completely naked. I can enjoy the breeze in my skin and the solitude and quietness that can be felt at the park at that time in the very early morning. It is so peaceful and energizing at the same time.

But even though I would love to do it more often in daylight, I have to set for night walks instead. My two biggest problems (beside being arrested) are the excessive body hair, which has been a reason for many to laugh at my sight, or at least observe with extreme curiosity and make all sort of questions that really bother me; becoming one of the main reason why I started to shave my whole body; and the small size of my cock which, as you know, is a sort of competition and reason of pride among men. The bigger one you have, the prouder you feel; and for those (like me), left with a really small one when “at rest”, the social stigma of not being “manly” enough.

Could be that a reason why I started to feel more and more as a woman rather than a man? I don’t know. One thing I know for sure is that, after having sexual encounters with other men and having the chance to play with their cocks, and them playing with mine, I could realize mine is extremely sensitive and fragile. Not only my cock but my balls too! They cannot be handled rough, to the point of not even standing “enthusiastic” sucking without feeling pain.

Although my cock and balls work (I have a child, and with the same physical look and similar mind than me), to use them it has been always a pain (literally), which leads me to think that maybe they are more of an aberration than a “proper” part of my body.

If I consider my inner desires of having a pussy instead; my desires of surrender my body to someone and being taken and fucked, then I have no choice but to think that maybe I should have been a woman rather than a man.

Let’s remember that the basic roles of male and female are active and passive. A male have to “enter” another body, while a female have to allow another body to penetrate her. So he has to be a degree of aggressive while she has to be a degree of submissive. That’s the origin of machismo! “Women were created to serve men”. Unbelievable how one of the biggest society conditioning is based on animal instincts! (Yes, I’m feminist!).

The thing is, based on the size and fragility of my sexual parts, and my desires to have sexual acts in the female role, I have no choice but to believe that maybe I should have been a woman instead of a man; and that my male parts are just an aberration.

Angel

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