Archive | January 2014

Aberration

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In 2008 I took this picture at the park at about 2 O’clock in the morning. It is very enticing for me to go out to the park and have a walk completely naked. I can enjoy the breeze in my skin and the solitude and quietness that can be felt at the park at that time in the very early morning. It is so peaceful and energizing at the same time.

But even though I would love to do it more often in daylight, I have to set for night walks instead. My two biggest problems (beside being arrested) are the excessive body hair, which has been a reason for many to laugh at my sight, or at least observe with extreme curiosity and make all sort of questions that really bother me; becoming one of the main reason why I started to shave my whole body; and the small size of my cock which, as you know, is a sort of competition and reason of pride among men. The bigger one you have, the prouder you feel; and for those (like me), left with a really small one when “at rest”, the social stigma of not being “manly” enough.

Could be that a reason why I started to feel more and more as a woman rather than a man? I don’t know. One thing I know for sure is that, after having sexual encounters with other men and having the chance to play with their cocks, and them playing with mine, I could realize mine is extremely sensitive and fragile. Not only my cock but my balls too! They cannot be handled rough, to the point of not even standing “enthusiastic” sucking without feeling pain.

Although my cock and balls work (I have a child, and with the same physical look and similar mind than me), to use them it has been always a pain (literally), which leads me to think that maybe they are more of an aberration than a “proper” part of my body.

If I consider my inner desires of having a pussy instead; my desires of surrender my body to someone and being taken and fucked, then I have no choice but to think that maybe I should have been a woman rather than a man.

Let’s remember that the basic roles of male and female are active and passive. A male have to “enter” another body, while a female have to allow another body to penetrate her. So he has to be a degree of aggressive while she has to be a degree of submissive. That’s the origin of machismo! “Women were created to serve men”. Unbelievable how one of the biggest society conditioning is based on animal instincts! (Yes, I’m feminist!).

The thing is, based on the size and fragility of my sexual parts, and my desires to have sexual acts in the female role, I have no choice but to believe that maybe I should have been a woman instead of a man; and that my male parts are just an aberration.

Angel

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Snowy Day

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I took this picture in 2007 at winter time, before starting to shave my body. Although it was very cold to be naked standing on snow, I felt I had to get a picture like this.

What happens is that in a situation like this (naked in a cold, snowy day), I can feel the fragility of a human being and the need for all our creature comfort we are so used to, to the point of giving them for granted, which in turn lead us to believe we are more than we really are.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I do believe humans are indeed very powerful creatures, capable of doing amazing things, but out of their brain capabilities. When it comes to physical strength, we are one of the most fragile creatures in this planet. Even rabbits can survive the elements better than us, without the help of any technology.

So standing there on the snow, barefoot, trying to hang in there with the cold air touching my skin in every single part of my body, feeling what must have been for a caveman at the beginning of the human race, I can sort of get in touch with my inner self and recognize that, together with the strength of my brain, I also have to consider the fragility of my body.

It sort of get me back to reality to acknowledge my real value as a person, independently of all the crap society records in people’s brains, mostly in a runaway desire for business and profit.

Angel

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Kiss My Ass!

123   2014-01-24    11   06 Fiction Stories                              Kiss My Ass!

 

What if I say to someone “Kiss my ass”, and instead he fucks me? Would I let him? Would I enjoy it? I guess I’ll have to try someday! LOL

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He called me to his office to talk about my “behavior” at work. He said I should stop being so sexually teasing with the other workers because already a couple of them have complained of the distraction I create when they are operating machinery, and the risks involved on that.

I told him that I’m surrounded by very attractive men that look so gorgeous when they are all sweat and showing their muscles while working, that it’s very difficult for me not to be “insinuating” myself; but the only thing I do is to just unbutton my blouse and let them have a hint of my breasts (I don’t use a bra), so it is nothing really big, especially considering the extreme heat that is always present in the factory building.

He insisted that I shouldn’t do it, and that it was even dangerous for the other workers since they might loose concentration while working with machinery. So I told him that maybe he was jealous that I haven’t done it with him but only with the other workers. Then I unbuttoned my blouse and showed him my breasts while I gave him a devilish smile.

He got mad at me and called me a slut and a prostitute trying to make money, and that he will not tolerate that kind of things at work. So I got mad too and turned around, pulled my pants down and told him: “kiss my ass”

He stood from his chair behind his desk and walked towards me. He lowered the zipper of his pants and showed me his big cock while saying: “you want this? Is that what you want?”

He had such a gorgeous cock that I couldn’t avoid a look of surprise. So immediately I drop to my knees and touched his cock with my hands and started to move my head to get it in my mouth to suck it. I was surprised that he didn’t stop me, but by the opposite, he grabbed my head with both hands and pulled me to his cock.

I realized then that he did want to have me and I was going to be taken by my boss in his office! So I started to suck his cock enjoying every bit of it, while moaning with pleasure. He was holding my head strongly at the same time that he started to trust his cock deep in my mouth; then I realized he was going to take me by force, even if I was compliant.

After a couple of minutes he pushed my head away and my mouth out of his cock, and then grabbed me and throw me over his desk, to then bent me forward while opening my legs and pulling my pants all the way down. He placed his cock in my pussy and without warning went all the way in. There was a lot of pain, but at the same time there was the pleasure of being taken!

So I remained still and quiet for a moment while he started to fuck me stronger and faster every second. I had to grab the desk with both hands to prevent him from pushing me all the way to the other side and over his chair.

I was moaning when he cum, and ended up almost screaming with pleasure with the strong shaking and the feeling of the warm cum inside me!

After he relaxed and went out of my pussy I just remained for a moment lying over the desk, resting from the whole thing. Then I stood up; pulled up my pants and buttoned my blouse, to then walk to the door to leave his office, but before leaving I turned around and told him that it was the best time I had in a boss office, and that I’ll keep being nasty out there, so he could “punish” me any time he wanted. Then I left with a big smile…

Angel

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Face Pictures

122   2014-01-22    23   02 Physical Changes                         Face Pictures (1)

 

I needed some good face pictures to use as main in my profile at Crossdressers.com, so took a couple of hours to try make up and then take many pictures to choose from.

So far my two biggest problems to look like a woman are my belly, which is too big to be attractive as a female; and my face, that have a too notorious beard and too big eyebrows. The belly is easier to fix with diet and exercise, but the face is another thing.

The eyebrows should be smaller, but is not just a matter of trimming them to a female size since I live as a man and it’ll be too complicated to show up at work or with family with depilated eyebrows; so I believe I can do something by trimming just a little bit every month, until after a year they will be close to the right size (for a female look), without anybody noticing what happened (I hope).

Also, I tried with and without eye liner and, even though with it the look can be better (once I learn how to apply it correctly), I believe I still can get a decent female look without it (which would be a lot less of a hassle).

Then the sagging eyes and the wrinkles I think would be OK since I am 51 years old and I’m looking for men in their sixties and seventies, so it should be fine for a “woman” my age, and they probably wouldn’t care much, as long as the general look is attractive (for a woman in her fifties)

 

122   2014-01-22    23   02 Physical Changes                         Face Pictures (2)

 

But the beard is the big problem!

For what I can see in the pictures I’ve taken so far, once the beard disappears the look improves, not completely but greatly; but the problem is how to make it disappear!

For now I’ve been using make up applying foundation, color in a cream and then a final color dust, and the results are good for…a couple of minutes! Then the beard tend to start showing up little by little under the make up, until after a couple of hours later it can be clearly seen; and throughout all that time the face looks like cracking skin rather than smooth. And cannot be touched or all the make up simply disappear, leaving me as “The Bearded Woman” LOL

I’ve tried in the past with fluids and creams that claim to reduce the beard, but only got an irritated skin and no beard reduction, so it seems the only way for now would be to keep trying different kinds of make up and different ways to apply it, until I find the best combination that would keep the beard hidden and a decent look, while allowing personal interactions (kissy, kissy) LOL

 

122   2014-01-22    23   02 Physical Changes                         Face Pictures (3)

 

So you see why I’m so afraid of close interaction with people when dressing as a woman…my face! And you can see in the third picture how everything can go terribly wrong with my feminine look. LOL

Angel

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