One of the problems that I have is that I’m not attracted to be like many crossdressers that can be seen in gay dating sites. You see, I’m not gay but a straight man that have a straight woman inside, which means I’m not interested in playing with another crossdresser using sexy lingerie and sucking cock and fucking each other by turns.
When being a woman, I do like to suck cock and be fucked, but when being a man I’m not interested in that but in the other way; kissing a pussy; getting my cock sucked and being me the one who fuck.
Also, I’m not attracted to fancy clothes that would make me look like an elegant lady. What I want is to be a simple woman that dresses simple but sexy. A woman that is sexy and attractive because of her body rather than the clothes she uses and a sophisticated make up.
Have you seen sometimes a woman wearing jeans, a T shirt and snickers, and yet she looks very attractive, even though she is dressing so simple? That is what I want to achieve. That is the kind of woman I want to be!
From that point, what I need to find is the way to look like a sexy and attractive female when naked, so after that, simple, everyday street clothing would be enough to get the look I want. Not an easy challenge as you can see.
I want to be able to use bikini at the beach and look good as a woman. Be able to be even naked by the beach and, besides the scandal and risk of being arrested, be seen as an attractive and desirable woman by the men that could be looking at that moment, and not be “confused” with a man.
To achieve that goal I have to concentrate in how to look like a desirable woman when naked, by the way of fixing and changing things in my body, rather than by the way of the kind of clothes and make up I’ll use. In other words, by changing myself rather than by covering up a man with women stuff to make him look like a woman, which in my opinion is the crossdressing thing.
For that reason, one of the things I’ve been thinking is to get one of those synthetic vaginas that can be bought in those crossdresser’s stores. Since the idea is to be able to look like a woman even when naked, a synthetic vagina would help with the “key characteristic” of a female, and would eliminate doubts in someone looking at me down there to see if I’m a man or a woman. The only problem right now is: do those look natural? And I know they have to be basically tied down in the back, so a cord would be seen from behind. I guess in that respect I would have to buy one; adapt it to my specific needs, and find a more “invisible” way of securing it to my body.
The other elements I’ve been looking at is silicone breasts (to augment my own to a more attractive size) and silicone hip pads to get the proportional “width” I should have in relation to my shoulders and body in general. In these cases the problem is skin “sensitivity” and “deception”.
If a man gets interested in having sex with me, at the moment of removing my clothes, because the attractive look was achieved with pads and prosthetics, it’ll be a deception for him seeing me take even part of the attractive body to reveal a flat, non curvy one, different from the one he saw at first. Also, if it comes to physical touching, none of us would have the right feel because he would be touching silicone rather than skin.
For these reasons I’m not very convinced of getting silicone breasts and hip pads but only the synthetic vagina mentioned above; especially because there is one that allows to pee when wearing it, and also have a “channel” that a man can use to insert his cock, making it a completely functional vagina, just like the kind a woman have.
I guess I’ll have to learn more about that before making a decision because, one: they cost like $ 400; two: they are still silicone. And there is also the problem of securing it to the body.
So you can see why I have the kind of clothing I bought, and don’t have the typical lingerie crossdressers use. I hope I’ll be able to find solutions to the problems at hand, so to achieve the desire result, and have the chance to go walking as a normal, common but attractive woman in Downtown Denver some day.