Archive | October 2013

Butt Naked

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There’s something about having my butt naked; I don’t know exactly what it is, but I really enjoy feeling the sun and the breeze down there; especially the sun, warming up the skin.

I know it’s not about sex because when I’m enjoying those moments I’m not aroused, but I do feel more naked with just my butt exposed than even with the rest of the body. For example, if I’m normally dressed, like T shirt, jeans and tennis shoes, and I pull down my pants to expose my butt, without exposing the front, I feel very naked; but if the only thing I’m wearing is underwear and nothing else, I don’t feel naked.

Even if I’m wearing only underwear and pull down the front to expose my cock but not my butt, I still don’t feel really naked, compared with exposing only my butt.


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It is so much the feeling of nakedness, that I even tried a crazy thing some time ago. Using a pair of scissors I cut the rear portion of a pair of jeans, so when wearing them, from the front you wouldn’t notice any difference, but from the back, the covered parts were the legs, the belt area and the sides, leaving completely exposed the whole butt.

Obviously I couldn’t go out like that, so I just used a long jacket that was loose enough so barely touched the butt, but long enough to cover it completely. Then went for a walk!

In the outside you would have seen a guy wearing a long jacket, a pair of jeans and tennis shoes…nothing unusual; but inside I had an amazing feeling of being naked among people! The jacket barely touched the butt and I could feel the air coming from below the jacket and cooling the skin of my butt. I just loved it!


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Now, one of the nice feelings came from the jacket occasionally slightly touching my butt, and for me THAT is sexual. You see, I believe my most erogenous part is my butt. It is very nice to feel a hand and a mouth sweetly playing with my cock, but what really gives me a strong hard on, to the point of feeling like my cock is going to blow up for excessive blood pressure, is when someone caresses my butt.

When someone is sweetly touching and kissing my butt I get really horny! If he is a man, then also I love when he’s rubbing his cock in my butt, and that makes me feel a complete woman that want to be fucked. If she is a woman, then when she also is rubbing her pussy in my butt I feel a complete man that wants to fuck her hard. But in both cases it is about having my butt caressed by someone, man or woman.

Weird, isn’t it?



Sexual Energy

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For several months now I‘ve been taking Testosterone in pills to increase my sexual energy, but there could be an unseen side effect.

What happen is that about a year ago I decided to investigated why my sexual energy was so low, and I found that is normal in a man in his 50’s to have low levels of Testosterone, and because of that, loose sexual energy and sexual capabilities. I’m talking about having trouble to get an erection; not being able to keep an erection for long (more than 5 minutes), and being really difficult to reach the climax and ejaculate. I had all those problems!

You see, I have a small, grower cock that is about 4 ½ inches long when erected and about 1 inch long when at rest, but it used to work just fine, until a couple of years ago, when I started to loose “performance” and became sort of “useless” when trying to have sex, and for a straight man that is worst than death!

So, if the problem was a low level of Testosterone, then the solution should be to get it in the form of pills to rise the levels to what suppose to be normal; and so I searched and found some in the internet and bought a bottle to try for a month.

The results were great and I could have an erection easier and a little longer. Also I could reach the climax faster and ejaculate in a lot stronger way, noted mostly for a very pleasant shaking of the entire body and a “shoot” instead of a “drip” at the moment of ejaculating; something I hadn’t enjoyed for several years!

Still the problem of keeping an erection for longer persisted until, in one encounter for sex with another man, he gave me to try half a pill of Viagra. After about one hour I had a very strong erection that lasted for about three hours! And even after the encounter, for about the next 6 hours, I could easily get an erection again.


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So that was it! Pills of Testosterone for the sexual performance, and half a pill of Viagra for an incredible and long lasting erection. Problem solved! He gave me a website where I could order Viagra without a prescription, and so I did and now have a nice supply for when the need arises (so my cock can too, lol).

[If you are interested in knowing the brands and websites where I order these pills, just send me an email or post the question in a comment and I’ll be happy to share the information with you. I don’t want to just put here the names and websites to avoid any legal complications]

So for the straight man living as a man it’s been great and without problems, and for the straight woman inside all I have to do is not use Viagra, so I can still have sexual pleasure without an “embarrassing” hard cock! Everything is perfect…except that my small “man boobs” from being 15 pounds overweight were getting bigger and bigger!


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Back to the internet to explore side effects of taking Testosterone I discovered that growing breasts could happen in some cases. I believe that is the reason why my big man-boobs are becoming like small women’s breasts. Reading on crossdresser’s website stores it seems I have cup B size, and should (or could) use a size 38B bra.

So for when I’m asked if I’m taking anything to grow my breasts, the answer is no, but maybe it is an unseen side effect of taking Testosterone. As a man I don’t like them and I think they look bad in my chest, but as a woman I love them!


Male to Female

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In the previous post “Attractiveness” I mentioned what would be the common elements of physical attractiveness for both male and female.

As a reminder, it seems to me the common elements are a slim body with a smooth skin and a rounded butt, and a face with plumped lips and smooth skin. From there, the specific elements to each one are: breasts and a vagina for women, and some muscles and a cock for men.

Assuming we have a slim body with a smooth skin and a rounded butt that we can use to be a male or a female, then to complete the transition we should add the specific elements to each sex.

To become a female there are silicone breasts that can be glued to the chest. I haven’t tried them, but they claim the look and the feel is completely natural (honestly I doubt it). Also there are silicone vaginas that can be strapped to the body to cover the cock and give the look of a vagina. I already order one through the internet and am waiting for it to arrive, so to try it myself, but also I doubt it’ll look natural.


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To become a male I guess is more difficult since a woman have to hide her breasts, and use one of those silicone cocks that can be strapped to the body. It seems to me it’ll be really difficult for a female to pass as a male when naked.

In my case, being a man, I have a cock that is very small (4.5 inches when aroused and 1 inch when at rest); a very hairy body and some basic muscles. So to have the “universal” basic body that can be used as a male and as a female I have to shave it completely (a man can have no body hair, but a woman CANNOT have body hair). Once shaved my body skin is very smooth to the touch, but being so hairy, the shave last only one day before it can be felt the hair growing back. For this reason I have to wait and shave only the night before of an encounter, so to have a very smooth skin without any irritation.

Now, being about 15 pounds overweight, I do have some boobs, as you can see in my pictures, although it seems they might be the side effect of some pills I’m taking, but I’ll talk about that more in detail in a future post.


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The thing is, after shaving my body, if I “paint” lines around my breasts I can make them look bigger, so they do look like a woman’s breasts. The only problem is to hide my cock and to have a vagina instead, so I’ll give a try to that silicone vagina they sell on the internet and see if it works. And even though they have a very complete one, with a channel that makes possible to urinate by seating in the toilet without having to remove anything, and also have a channel that allows for a cock to get in, so to have the possibility of being penetrated like a woman; since the price is almost $ 500, I decided to give a try to their “basic model” that cost “only” around $ 100. As soon as I get it I’ll try it and let you know how it works and will show you some pics, so you can judge for yourselves.

My biggest concern right now is that it suppose to be strapped to the body to hold it in place, and I don’t like that. How can it be that from the front she looks fine, but in the back she has cords tied down? I guess I’ll have to create a way to hold it in place without using cords, so I’ll have to see what I can do. I’ll let you know the results and show you some pictures and videos for you to decide if it works or not.




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While trying to improve my body so it’ll resemble an attractive woman when being used by Angel, I’ve been thinking what are the elements that make a woman attractive. The idea is to know what should I do and what should I pursue to get the results I want, without wasting time and effort in details that will contribute very little to the main objective.

Also, I have to consider that the same body will be used for a man to be a man, so I cannot do some changes that can be used only for a woman or a man. In other words, I should find the elements of attractiveness that apply both to men and women, so they can be used for both Angel and the man owning the body.


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An example of that is I could get silicone implants to have nice breasts, and then tattoo the area around the nipple with the appropriate color to make it look like a real nipple. I know (although the cost can be high) the result should be very satisfactory. The problem is that when the man who owns the body wants to use it, that body will have breasts, and that’s not something a man wants to have, and definitely doesn’t look attractive in a man.

Now, I know many people would say the main element of attractiveness is the personality; and I agree with them; nobody wants to get involved with an “asshole”, being a man or a woman. But in this case I’m talking about the purely animal instinct that pushes us to want sex with that body, independently of the personality of the individual owning the body. In other words, how to become a “Good Fuck” first; and then work in the personality part, so to become also an interesting person to be with (yes, I want to become a “Good Fuck” too!).


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Now, being a straight man for such a long time, I can explore my own wishes and desires to see what I would like to see in a woman to consider her attractive. Obviously still it’s a personal opinion and many men can disagree with me, or have different preferences.

From my male personal point of view, the main element is a slim body that also has curves. Not overweight and not underweight but just proportional to the height would be the number one element, even if there are not many curves. To that add smooth curves that also are not too much and not too little, and include a round butt. Then a smooth skin, independent of the color, together with “some” breasts would complete the basics of an attractive body. From there the differences are personal preferences: some men would want bigger breasts; others would like wider hips, etc. but they all would appreciate a slim body with some curves, a round butt, a smooth skin and some breast to play with.


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When it comes to the face, in my personal opinion the main element is plumped lips that invite many kisses. Then it’ll be a smooth skin that attracts hands to touch it; and finally a soft hair that can be caressed with the hands. To these basic elements, many details can be added; for instance, a nice tan to the body and face, long hair that moves freely, etc

Then it’ll be the personality part, which implies a smile and a nice, friendly and positive attitude. Note that so far I haven’t mention clothes or accessories like earrings or necklaces. It is all about a naked body that is attractive enough to “inspire” the desire for sex in a man.

Now, talking about what would be attractive in both a man and a woman, I believe plumped lips, smooth face skin and nice hair would be common elements that can be used for both. When it comes to the body; a slim one with a smooth skin and a round butt are also common elements for both men and women.


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From there it’ll be adding the specific elements that are characteristics for male and female. In the case of female, it’ll be some breast and a vagina. For male it’ll be more muscles in the arms and chest area and a cock. If, as a man, the muscles are not much, then it can be used by a woman, but all the others are specific to each one.

So as you can see, the basic body for both would be a slim body with a smooth skin and a rounded butt; and a face that has plumped lips and a smooth skin. Then, to switch from man to woman or woman to man, it’ll be about “adding” the specific elements: for woman add a vagina and some breasts, and for man add a cock.

Obviously that doesn’t create a very attractive male or female, but it’ll be the basic body that should be good enough to attract someone of the opposite sex, especially if a nice personality is added.

In a next post I’ll talk about how to do the switching of the specific elements for male and female.



Update in Changes

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So far the changes in my body are going OK, although at a very slow speed since I don’t have many opportunities to practice make up; walking, gesturing, voice and learning to select and try the appropriate clothing for the look that I intend to achieve.

I started shaving my whole body in October 2012 and wearing women clothes and trying make up in May 2013. Up to date I believe I haven’t used women clothes more than five times, and tried make up in my face more than three times. That’s very little for five months of being a transgender!


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Still, whenever I can I practice make up and walking, while enjoying feeling women clothes in my body and long hair in my shoulders. I guess I’ll have to develop more specific (for me) ways to have make up applied and removed very quickly, and find ways to be able to turn into the woman I want to be with the least amount of elements, so I can carry them in a small bag. That way I could turn into a woman and back in a minute time. Not an easy task to accomplish, but a nice challenge to fight with!