Archive | April 2013

Beyond the Physical

023   2013-04-27    05   01 Psychology and Mind               Beyond the Physical


Why it is so difficult for some people to see beyond the physical? I can understand the eyes are physical elements that are designed to capture the images of physical objects projected through light. I can understand we need references to create guidelines and rules, and obviously the physical is an easy way to classify everything, including people. But we know the down side of that: Discrimination and segregation that leads to violence and death, or at least people living miserable lives.

“If you have a different skin color than mine then you should be different than me”
“If you walk with the poor then you must be poor”
“If you drive an expensive car you must be wealthy” (Even if you’re drowning in debt)
“If you have male genitals you have to be a man”

People tend to consider as the truth what they see in a first instance, without taking in consideration the elements that are an integral part of the whole. That’s why so many people is in deep debt, trying to live like a millionaire to show others how well are they doing in life, and others tend to believe it, feel a sort of envy and need of competition, thus falling into the same game. How long did it take for people to realize that even though skin color could be different, it didn’t imply any difference in capabilities and/or intelligence but just characteristics?

When it comes to see the sexual feelings of people, we still have the problem of seeing others and assigning their sexuality by their sex parts and not by how they feel. We all know of men who feel as a woman and dream of being treated as a woman, and even though we can say I understand, we also know all the violence and discrimination they have to suffer in their lives. People still see others by their physical appearance rather than seeing the human being inside.

I guess being an Aspie makes a difference because when a man tells me he feels as a woman I can see the woman he is. In those cases what I see is a woman with the shape that is usually assigned to a male in society, but that for me is just her personal characteristic, like when a woman is blonde or tall or skinny.

In the past I’ve met a couple of guys who felt like a woman and I saw them as women, even in their “society male skin” and it really intrigues me why most people just cannot do the same and simply lie saying “yes, I understand” but their actions prove the opposite.

In my opinion, as long as we as a society remain classifying others just by their physical characteristics, with complete disregard of the thoughts and feelings of the person, we will remain a segregationist race that cannot get rid of all the different forms of discrimination.

Any thoughts, opinions and/or rants?




More Than Sex

022   2013-04-23    04   05 Dates and Encounters             More than Sex


What is it that such simple actions create so many reactions in the body and the mind? A hand softly running over naked skin; lips barely touching while smoothly kissing a sex partner; enjoying the body, to then little by little, reach those hidden places that cannot be seen in public, but in the privacy of a bedroom, surrounded by a very sensual music and dim lights that allows to see only silhouettes, become the treasures to find and enjoy.

The surrender action of a willing mind in search of physical pleasures to experience throughout his body and skin, giving and receiving the sweet caressing so long desired, but not too often experienced.

For a moment, touching and kissing a partner’s naked skin, which willingly surrenders to our unquenchable thirst of acquiring and possessing a body with desire and desperation. Controlling our instincts to trade the roughness of desire by the sweetness of unconditional love, to show we do care, at the same time that we enjoy in a selfish way our pleasures of using and owning that willing body in our personal pursue of ecstasy and satisfaction.

Then, for another moment, becoming the quiet one, the willing one that gives up himself to his partner, ready to be used by him in his own search for the pleasures of using and owning somebody else’s body. Experiencing the pleasure of being sweetly touched and kissed, to then being taken and used with the strength of the owner, who becomes selfish in his personal quest for his own pleasures, yet it’s also pleasant for the taken, the one being used. Such feelings of being possessed!

Sweet kisses and touches that make the skin tingle with desire for more, as a prelude for a smooth strength in the interactions, to lead invariably to the pleasant roughness of unleashed desires from the body and mind. To then experience the shaking and relief of the body, like I guess must feel in some cases the moment of death, when passing to a calmed and relaxed place, where the body no longer have needs since it doesn’t exist anymore.

Then tired; exhausted by the sudden burst of muscular use throughout the body, relax for a moment to cuddle both naked bodies together, and to go back to the sweet touches and kisses, feeling the closeness of another human being.

Maybe it can be without love; maybe it is just a “no strings” situation, but for that brief moment together, two willing creatures can find the pleasant relief of sex, and at the same time experience the communion of two minds that provide company to each other.

I’m sorry but I can’t understand when some people say: “I just want a good fuck”




Silicone Boobs

021   2013-04-17    04   02 Physical Changes                     Silicone Boobs


As a woman I have very small boobs I know, but at least I got something, and to be honest, I like it that way. It is sort of the perfect size to have some when in my female roll, and easy to conceal when in my male roll, and it’s me.

The reason that I say this is that I’ve been looking at stuff for crossdressers in the internet and found silicone boobs, silicone vaginas and silicone padding for hips. It is interesting and somehow appealing since those things should help to get a more feminine body. What still doesn’t convince me is what happens when you go to bed with a man; do you have to remove everything? But in that case the man might feel cheated, even if he knows before hand she is a crossdresser. Do you leave everything as it is? But in that case the man is grabbing silicone instead of woman skin, and the woman doesn’t feel the man’s hands in her body.

Confusing! All I know is that I really love to feel a man’s hands in my skin and running all over my body, so in that situation silicone enhancements wouldn’t be of any help, other than for going out walking a street as a woman and looking as a woman, without the intention of getting sex, but just to enjoy being a woman (which by itself is a very enticing thing for me!).

So I guess I would have to wait and see, and probably I might consider in the future getting some of that stuff just for the purpose of going out as a woman, but as a completely separated thing of going to bed with a man.

What is your opinion on that? Do you like silicone enhancements? Do you use them? If so, what is your experience on that?




Waiting in a Motel Room

020   2013-04-11    03   06 Fiction Stories                          Waiting in a Hotel Room


Waiting in a motel room; expecting soft knocks on the door at any time; the anticipation and nervousness that create an exhilarating feeling all within the body.

So many letters to get to know each other little by little, to see if the other is the right one, even if it’s only for just a couple of encounters, before small details start to show up and point us both in different directions, while retaining the memories for long in our separate ways.

How is he? Do I remember at this point? Does it matter anymore? The date is settled and here I am, in a motel room, waiting for him to meet him in person for the first time. The last note said: “We can talk, and take it from there, to wherever it goes”. But I know he’s expecting more than just talk, and so do I.

I decided to get naked and walk around in the room, waiting. I want to greet him like this, to show him that I am interested in more than just talk. And the thrill of opening the door to a stranger while being completely naked is to intense to just let it by.

In the meantime I need something to do. Time is going by too slow for my comfort, and butterflies keep dancing in my stomach. So I grab the camera and try to entertain myself taking some pictures of me standing in front of the mirror. The lighting is dim in this room so can’t get a decent shot, but I keep trying as the only thing to do to kill some of the waiting time. But time still goes by and the expected knocks on the door refuse to present themselves. Instead the clock keeps its immutable march, laughing at my intentions and desires.

One hour after the agreed time I must admit he’s not coming. Maybe he encountered a problem; maybe he decided not to show up; maybe he forgot, or maybe he’s somewhere else laughing at the whole situation and never really intended to meet, who knows.

So slowly I put my clothes on, collect my stuff and walk out the door. I take a last glance to the room that could have been the place for an adventure of the heart; the bed that could have been the place for the body and skin to experience one of the pleasures of life; yet decided not to be so.

Walking the night in search for a coffee shop to have some warm drink and a cigarette surrounded by people but still alone; to reflect in the adventures that we all live in life, even if they go in the direction we wanted or not. There will be another time, and there will be someone else, so there’s no need to worry or be mad, just let the time flow by as it knows so well how to do it, and life will be bright once more.




An Angel For Someone

019   2013-04-09    03   04 Trips and Adventures              An Angel For Someone


I want to be a little angel for someone! I want that man to think of me as his sweet creature, that he wants to hug and kiss and touch, because this little creature brings him sweetness and care to his life and to his body.

I want to kiss him very sweetly in his lips and entire body, softly touching every inch of his skin with my hands and my smooth, shaved face. Play with his cock; kiss it, suck it and rub it in my face. Cuddle in his chest and purr like a happy kitten, while I softly touch his skin with my fingers, and move my body to let him know that I am a willing creature, and that I am his. Talking to him in the smoothest and sweetest voice I can make, while using my softest gestures.

I want this man to treat me with sweetness and care, like to a fragile creature that can be too easily destroyed. To touch me and softly run his hand and lips throughout my entire body, especially when I lay face down. Play with my butt touching, kissing and squeezing, until his desire of relief by fucking this sweet, little creature takes over.

Then I want to feel him over me, laying his weight over my body and start rubbing his cock in my butt while holding me from my chest with his arms and hands and breathing in my neck, like a wolf feasting in his prey. Then I’ll remain compliant, enjoying being my wolf’s meal. Smoothly twisting and moving my body and my butt under his cock, to make him feel he is desired and in control.

I want to feel he becomes stronger and mightier over me, holding me tighter while he let himself loose to the sexual desire of completely owning that little creature…his possession! Then feel his strong shaking while releasing his juices in my butt and between my legs, until he relaxes and rest for a moment over my body, as I feel his breathing become calmed once again.

Then, when he moves aside to rest on his back, I’ll turn around and hug him from the side leaning my head in his shoulder while kissing his neck and cheeks, at the same time that I rest my leg over his legs and sweetly run my hand over his chest and body, and purring like a kitten to show him that his sweet little creature is happy and loves him.

I don’t ask from him to be his only one or faithfulness from his part, just like I don’t require that we become a couple in a long term relationship. He can be free to do his life while I’ll do mine, and only in those moments when we get together for a couple of hours of play, we will be just for the other, giving everything of ourselves to our momentary loved one.

Unfortunately, this would work for a man who wants a sweet girl rather than another man; maybe a young boy still could make it, but for someone like me that don’t have the shape and look of a woman it’ll be really difficult (sigh!), but I’ll keep working on that, trying to reach the best shape and look I can for him to enjoy, and so I can enjoy this dreamed adventure.