One of the things that really puzzle me about this hidden desires I have is that, after spending a couple of years subscribed to gay dating sites, I’ve found that perhaps a big number of men who claim to be Bi-Sexual seem more like diving into this because of lack of sex in their lives.
A common point among marriages that can be heard of from married men in those gay dating sites is that sex between the couple is very little to non-existent. It seems like at some point in marriage it becomes a very common thing the lost of interest in sex by the wife, leaving the husband in a situation of unmet needs. Perhaps this could translate into “looking to the side” as a way to find some form of sex.
I know some people will say that an explanation like this will not be real since if a married man wants sex and cannot find it at home, he will just start dating other women outside the marriage. That could be it, and I’m sure it is in many cases, but many times is not that easy as it might seem. A married man has a limited budget so not always enough money to spend in a lover. Also the time available without having to justify activities is usually very scarce. For those who are single it might seem stupid, but it is a reality to married men that time and money are usually not available enough to have “adventures” outside the marriage. Besides, most of the times a married man doesn’t want to divorce or create problems to the family and wife, he just want a little more sex in his life, that’s all, so not a justification enough to risk finances and marriage itself to the search of a little more “action” in his life.
So the point is, if there is no sex in his life, and the search for sex with another woman is difficult, could it be that the brain sort of automatically finds an alternative in the body of other men?
I can understand that since I am a married man that has no sex with his wife for the past ten years. Divorce is not so simple since she is a good wife, a very good mother and a nice person, so it is not a reason to divorce because there is no sex. It’ll be like divorcing because you are never served your favorite meal at home, but everything else is fine. Although sex is an important part in a marriage, it is not the most important part of all. Seriously, I prefer a wife that doesn’t give sex to a wife that spends money like if the world is going to end tomorrow!
So marriage is OK but there is the lack of sex, and since sex is not the most important part of marriage but still an important part of a man’s life, there has to be found an alternative. There’s the moment when it seems to me the brain might find a viable alternative in a male’s body instead of a female’s body to provide for the need of sex.
It seems simple and straightforward as an explanation, isn’t it?
The problem is, how about the sudden need to try and touch a cock; the newly born desire of trying it in your mouth and see how it feels; and even more, trying a cock in one’s ass to experience the feeling of being penetrated.
Not all Bi-Sexual men want everything, but there is a big percentage of curiosity about trying and seeing how it feels, and if it’ll be of pleasure enough to try it again.
The point is, do the lack of sex propel a man to find suitable having sex with another man as an alternative? And if so, why there comes also the need to try taking the female side in bed and wanting to suck cock and some times being penetrated and “taken” by another man? Like if “what I cannot get from a woman, I’ll give it to another man” or, “I know what I want from a woman, so that’s what I want to give to another man”
I know the whole subject is a lot more complex than this, and includes a lot more variables to consider that the ones presented so far, but seems to me an interesting point to analyze in trying to understand my own hidden desires, and the sexual behavior of men and women in general.