About 19 years ago (when I was about 31) a friend of mine asked me to help him go retrieve some stuff he had left in another city before moving to this one. His stuff was locked in a storage, and he needed someone with a car (he didn’t have one at that time) to give him a ride and a haul. Since the trip was about 1,000 miles one way, it’ll take the whole day to get there and another to come back, so he offered to pay for a motel room and all the expenses related to the trip; I only had to contribute with the vehicle and my time.
We spent the whole trip there talking about many things, including women and sex with them. When we arrived to the city he rented a room in a cheap motel and, after leaving our stuff in the room, he went to check on the storage to see if everything was OK. In the meantime I went for a walk around to get to know a little bit about that city.
It was about nine o’clock at night and the temperature was around 70 degrees, so it was nice to wander by the streets to relax from the long trip. After about twenty minutes walking, a car passing by in the opposite direction I was walking turned around and, after reaching me, continued going at the same speed I was walking. I noticed but didn’t give any attention to it, until several minutes later the driver lowered the window and called me.
He was a guy in his forties, maybe fifties, salt and pepper hair, and kind of good looking. He said he noticed I was walking like in no direction and wanted to invite me a drink. I was in an unknown city and it was becoming late, so decided not to get involved in whatever the guy wanted, so told him I was going back home. He insisted on just a couple of drinks and some friendly chat for a moment. To try and convince him that I had plans already I told him I had to get back home so I could take a shower. He said that I could take a shower in his place; that he would be very happy if I’d do that, and he said those words in a different tone…like in a more feminine way.
I stopped walking and looked at him surprised. Up to that moment in my life I never thought of intimacy with a man; I always dreamed of women and sex with them, but never with a man…it just never occurred to me!
So I thought “This guy must be gay and looking for a date”. I was temped to laugh for the confusion and to explain to the man that I wasn’t gay, but didn’t since I didn’t want to make him feel bad or believe that I was laughing at him. Up to that point in my life I was completely sure that I was straight, but never had anything against gay guys…just not my thing.
He kept insisting and at some point, out of my curiosity and willingness to always experience something new, I told him OK and boarded his car. Maybe it was that I was too horny for sex (my wife and me haven’t had sex for years at that point), maybe there was a gay side in me that I didn’t know, or maybe it was the thrill of trying something different (as I mentioned, I like to experiment).
The thing is, we got to his place (a motel room) and after we entered the place he showed me the bathroom, so I could take that shower. By then I had decided to go all the way to see what happened next and experience something new and different in my life. So I went to the bathroom and after getting naked got into the shower.
After just about two minutes he knocked at the bathroom door and asked me if I didn’t mind if he used the toilet while I was showering. I took a quick look and realized the toilet was facing the shower, which had a glass door instead of a curtain, so I knew he wanted to -literally- take a seat at the front row for the shower show. I told him it was fine with me, and felt horny and slightly aroused.
He pulled his pants down and seated at the toilet. I took a brief look at him and realized he was definitely checking me out, so decided to play the game and started to soap my body and my butt, while standing in ways to enhance the shapes and curves, like I had seen women do in those for men porno sites.
After a couple of minutes he stood up and, before leaving, told me he would be waiting in the other room. I finished the shower, used the towel and left the bathroom. I decided to play the whole game so took my clothes with me but didn’t put them on…instead I went to the other room naked with my clothes in my hand.
I found the guy only in underwear, and seemed to be happy to see me completely naked. I left my clothes in one of the chairs available and told him it was too hot for me to get my clothes on.
He invited me to seat in the carpet and talk. After we did, he made a comment about never seeing a guy as hairy as I was. I responded “yes I’m really hairy” and while leaning on my knees, let my body bend a little bit, so my butt would be more pronounced. He asked if he could touch, and I said “sure”.
His hand went straight to my butt and I felt such a pleasure that my cock started to rise. He slid his hand to one side and made a brisk movement to touch my cock. At that moment I wished he had took more time touching me, and smiled to him. He then decided to take his underwear off claiming also too much heat in the room.
By then, not only I was sure this guy was gay, but also (surprised) I had discovered something about me I didn’t know. I found the guy handsome and really wanted to touch him. I saw his short and thick uncut cock, and thought of trying it in my mouth. So I thought to myself: “I didn’t know I was gay!”
I wasn’t shocked or feeling strange; by the opposite, I was horny and wanting sex with this man. So I looked back to his (now for me) beautiful cock and leaned to reach it with my mouth. It felt somehow strange at first…kind of rubbery! But it was very pleasant to feel it in my mouth, and sucking it slowly made me really horny!
I didn’t know what I was doing since I never have sucked a cock before, so it was all improvising. Without any previous information about the “subject”, I decided to do to him what I thought would be pleasurable for me, so started to use my tongue all around his cock while I had it in my mouth. Then closed my lips around it and applied some vacuum to give it gently squeezes; then started to move my head back and forth to reproduce the in and out.
He touched my head gently, and then grabbed my face and started to trust with strength into my mouth. It became too much for me, but I didn’t want to stop, and curiously for me at that moment, there was some strange pleasure on being “taken”. So I remained there, trying to stand the whole thing until he would cum.
After a couple of minutes he sent his load inside my mouth and I almost chocked! I started coughing and couldn’t breathe very well; so he stood up and went to the other side of the room, to come back with a small glass with water. I took the glass and had the whole content at once trying to get rid of the cough, only to realize a second later it wasn’t water but a strong liquor!
I started chocking from the liquor now, and it took me a couple of minutes to recover my normal breathing. After I was back to normal, he gently asked if there was anything he could do for me.
By the time I was recovered I started to feel completely out of place in that hotel room and like asking myself: “What am I doing here?” “Why am I doing this if I’m straight?” So in a gentile way I asked him to take me back to my place. It wasn’t his fault that my feelings changed, and up to that point he had been always nice and friendly.
We both got our clothes on and silently walked to the car parked outside. After boarding it, he drove back to the place we met and stopped for me to get out of the vehicle. Before I left he told me in a calmed and friendly voice: “Don’t feel bad…sex is sex, and I thank you for the time we spent together…it meant a lot to me”
I opened the door and had a moment of doubt; then in a quick movement, without thinking twice and just moved by a sort of instinct, I gave him a kiss in his lips, then left the car. He smiled at me from the driver’s seat and drove away.
While walking back to the motel room I felt confused and shaky. I never thought of me as being gay; never considered the possibility of having sex with another man; never occurred to me that such activity could be pleasurable, yet it was! I remembered sucking his cock and his hand touching my butt, and knew I did like it!
Driving back to our city with my friend and his recovered stuff I couldn’t stop thinking of that fortuity date and its pleasurable consequences. The doubts I had from that point in my life about my own concepts of who I am and what I like sexually. And definitely didn’t imagine how it’ll change the way I would see myself in the mirror again.
But having a married life and the responsibility of parenthood, I simply set the whole questioning and search for answers aside and went on with my life. Marriage wasn’t good, but parenting was a wonderful experience, and simply wouldn’t separate time for my own experimentation, robbing precious time from the one we spent with my child. Only when my child became an adult and more independent, about 15 years later (when I became about 46), I decided to “research” these hidden feelings and experiment with man to man encounters to see and find out what is what I like, and who exactly I am.
Since then it’s been about four years and several encounters with different guys (not bad…I think), although every time things went awry. Still, in this process, I’ve come to learn a lot about men’s sexuality and my own hidden desires.
In future posts I’ll be telling you about the other encounters I had after this first one. How they were different from another depending in the kind of man I was visiting, and how they somehow changed my thoughts and feelings throughout the years.
Life is a discovery journey, isn’t it?